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JOKE OF THE WEEK!.....
A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel for her
grandson's
birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one
and goes over to the counter. A Wal-Mart
associate is standing there
wearing dark shades. She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me
anything about this rod
and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the
counter, I can tell you everything
you need to know about it from the
sound it makes.
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.
He
says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404
reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a good all around combination;
and it's
on sale this week for only $20.00."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound
of
it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her
credit card drops on the floor.
"Oh,
that sounds like a Visa card," he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally breaks wind. At first she
is
really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk
could tell it was her. Being blind, he wouldn't
know that she was the
only person around.
The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for $20.00?
How did you get $34.50?"
He replies, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Catfish
Bait is $3.50."
 Use WD-40!
There's also a little book out--all the ways to use
WD-40.
WD-40
I thought that you might
like to know more about this well-known WD-40 product.
When you read
the "shower door" part, try it. It's the first
thing that has cleaned that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic, it
works just as well as glass. It's a miracle! Then try it on your stovetop...
Viola! It's now shinier than it's ever been. You'll be amazed.
The product began from
a search for a rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts. WD-40
was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the
project that was to find a "water displacement" compound. They were successful with the fortieth formulation, thus
WD-40.
The Corvair Company
bought it in bulk to protect their Atlas missile parts. The workers were so pleased with the
product they began smuggling (also known as "shrinkage" or "stealing") it out to use at home.
The executives
decided there might be a consumer market for it and put it in aerosol cans. The rest is history. It is a carefully
guarded recipe known only to four people. One of them is the "brewmaster." There are about 2.5 million gallons
of the stuff manufactured each year. It gets its distinctive smell from a fragrance that is added to the brew. Ken
East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that
would hurt you.
Here are some of
the uses:
~Protects silver from tarnishing
~Cleans and
lubricates guitar strings
~Gets oil spots off concrete driveways
~Gives floors that 'just-waxed' sheen without
making it slippery
~Keeps flies off cows (now that one really interests me! Do they 'slip' off?)
~Restores
and cleans chalkboards
~Removes lipstick stains
~Loosens stubborn zippers
~Untangles jewelry chains
~Removes
stains from stainless steel sinks
~Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill
~Keeps ceramic/terra cotta
garden pots from oxidizing
~Removes tomato stains from clothing
~Keeps glass shower doors free of water
spots
~Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors
~Keeps scissors working smoothly
~Lubricates
noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes
~Gives a children's play gym slide a shine
for a super fast slide
~Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding
mowers
~Rids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises
~Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and
makes them easier to open
~Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close
~Restores
and cleans padded leather dashboards and vinyl bumpers
~Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles
~Lubricates
and stops squeaks in electric fans
~Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons and bicycles for easy handling
~Lubricates
fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly
~Keeps rust from forming
on saws and saw blades, and other tools
~Removes splattered grease on stove
~Keeps bathroom mirror from
fogging
~Lubricates prosthetic limbs
~Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell)
~Removes
all traces of duct tape
~I have even heard of folks spraying it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve
arthritis pain.
~Florida's favorite use was "cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers
~The
favorite use in the state of New York -- WD-40 protects the Statue of
Liberty from the elements.
~WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a LITTLE on live bait or lures and you will be catching
the big one in no time. It's a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that
purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.
~Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately, and stops the itch.
~WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.
~Also,
if you've discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry,
saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and rewash. Presto! Lipstick is gone!
~If
you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture
and allow the car to start. (If I knew what a distributor cap was, it might help)
~WD-40, long known for its ability to remove leftover tape mung sticky label tape), is also a lovely
perfume and air freshener! Sprayed liberally on every hinge in the house, it leaves that distinctive clean fresh scent for
up to two days!
~Seriously though, it removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn't seem to
harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows
if you have a lot of marks.
~Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if
not removed quickly! Use WD-40!
And the beat goes on...............
The mystery is finally resolved.
How does the small arrow on your computer monitor work
when we move the mouse?
Haven't you ever wondered how it works?
Now, through the miracle of high technology,
we can see how it is done.
With the aid of a screen magnifying lens, the mechanism becomes apparent.
Click on
the link below and you will find out. The image may take a minute or two to download and when it appears, slowly move your
mouse over the light grey circle and you will see how the magic works. For real fun, move fast for a long period of
time and stop arrow right in front of you on the circle!
Follow this link and find out the truth
http://www.1-click.jp/
DID YOU KNOW THAT?
1. Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately -- without the
unpleasant side effects caused by traditional "pain relievers."
2. Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent
salve for burns?
3. Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try
chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose.
4. Achy
muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish in cup of olive oil. Let the mixture
sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief for aching muscles.
5. Sore Throat? Just
mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.
6.
Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer. Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at
the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly even though
the product was never advertised for this use.
7. Eliminate puffiness under your eyes ... All you need is a dab of
preparation H, carefully rubbed into the skin, avoiding the eyes. The hemorrhoid ointment acts as a vasoconstrictor,
relieving the swelling instantly.
8. Honey remedy for skin blemishes ... Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and
place a band-aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing. Works
overnight.
9. Listerine therapy for toenail fungus ... Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in
Listerine mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again.
10. Easy eyeglass
protection ... To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear nail polish
to the threads of the screws before tightening them.
11. Coca-Cola cure for rust ... Forget those expensive rust removers.
Just saturate an abrasive sponge with Coca Cola and scrub the rust stain. The phosphoric acid in the
coke is what gets the job done.
12. Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer ... If menacing bees, wasps, hornets,
or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop
to the ground instantly.
13. Smart splinter remover ... just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue all over the splinter, let
dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue.
14. Hunt's tomato paste
boil cure ... cover the boil with Hunt's tomato paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain
and bring the boil to a head.
15. Balm for broken blisters ... To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of
Listerine ... a powerful antiseptic.
16. Heinz vinegar to heal bruises ... Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and
apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.
17.
Kills fleas instantly. Dawn dish washing liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath
and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Goodbye fleas.
18.
Rainy day cure for dog odor .. Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer
sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh.
19. Eliminate ear mites ... All it takes is a few drops of
Wesson corn oil in your cat's ear. Massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for
3 days. The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing.
20. Vaseline cure
for hair balls ... To prevent troublesome hair balls, apply a dollop of Vaseline petroleum jelly to your cat's nose. The
cat will lick off the jelly, lubricating any hair in its stomach so it can pass easily through the digestive system.
21.
Quaker Oats for fast pain relief ... It's not for breakfast anymore! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water
in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from
arthritis pain.
22. If you send this to 15 people and only one of them doesn't know about this, then it was all worth
it.
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